I recently got a promotion. However it was the type of promotion that prompted my collegues to ask "Don't you already do this? How is this better?" to which I have only one reply, "Well, they just made all the bullshit official". Actually--almost. Apparently my salary hasn't been negotiated yet. I found this out AFTER I said okay, so really put a damper on teh whole "yay promotion" thing. But that's not the worst of it. Socially awkward managers also feel compelled to be "human" to you and offer a congratulations. I think it's because they feel it makes them look like they're reaching out to the little folks and they can say, "I'm one of you too!" and on the off chance you sleep with the right person to get you to the top, you'll remember that they weren't a total jack ass.

I got the oddest egreeting telling me that this is my chance and to knock it out of the park. OOOOOOOOOOOOokay, wait as I step up to the plate and swing for the fences and ooh, let's hope that there's no need to invoke three strikes and you're out. Sports metaphors can be fun but with some people, it just sounds like a pathetic attempt to relate without their nifty Consultant to English speak book handy. So yes, I also get a note that says: Well this is an achievement that is significant. So now does the work begin to expand exponentially? Which, what the hell? How about a "Good luck" or "Good job" or something that USES REAL WORDS. I wrote back, "No, why are you planning on putting something on my desk?" to which I got the reply and I kid you not, "LOL, HA HA HA YOU'RE SO FUNNY, ROFLMAO." I need a new job.