If I didn't live my life, I wouldn't believe some of the stories that I tell. Seriously, sometimes I do wonder about some random force scripting out situational comedies and I'm the real-life version with my cringe inducing antics. For the most part, and you'd never know it from reading this, I'm fairly respected at work. People ask my opinion, they seek out my advice and input, I've even heard the word "competent" associated with my name. That does not mean however that I am not also that woman who runs into work about 15 seconds before a conference call is to start, jacket half off, hair askew, out of breath, coffee spilled down the front of her shirt, panicking. Cause, I am. Not all the time. There are days that I manage to leave the house at a reasonable time, pick out my outfit the night before, walk at a brisk pace to the train and arrive with a nice window to get to the office. But, let's say it's not the 3rd Monday of an odd numbered month in which the stars have aligned perfectly to allow me not to embarrass myself. Let's say, it's today. A day in which I have a call promptly at nine a.m. Let's examine what happens:

8:58:01: Running through the hallway to get to my desk
8:58:15: Turn on the computer as it agonizingly turns on
8:58:45: Email won't open
8:59:02: Log back on to the computer
8:59:20: Email won't open
8:59:22: Log back on to the computer
8:59:32: Email now finally opens
8:59:55: Find the invite to the call and dial in
9:00:00: Realize that I'm on someone else's call and hear "Hello? Who just joined? Hello?" Hang up quickly.
9:00:10: Decide to actually read my emails to see if there were any changes
9:00:15: Find the right dial in number and dial in
9:01:00: Waiting
9:02:00: Waiting
9:03:00: Waiting
9:04:00: Waiting
9:05:00: Waiting
9:06:00: Oh, here they are!! I was about to put into effect the 5 minute rule.
9:15:00: My cell phone rings. Ooh, it's my friend that I haven't talked to in awhile. Eh, I'm not running this call, I can take it.
9:15:17: Me saying "Yeah, I'm on a really boring conference call"
9:15:18: The phone is not on mute
9:15:19: "Hello, is someone talking?"
9:15:20: Majorly thankful that I had the phone away from my mouth.
9:15:21: IM from fellow worker with a "Everyone thinks it's boring, no one actually says it.LOL"