No, project management is neither exciting or motivational. I've come to terms with this; but yet, I am on a call today where people were talking about the new "templates and tools" like it was something akin to a heart transplant. Its not. its boring. Please just deal.

At the risk of sounding redundant, I seriously can not stand people that are allergic to doing actual work--even if its something as simple as setting up a meeting. These are people who are uniquely adept at shoveling off even the most mundane of items to unsuspecting coworkers. One minute you're saying "yes, I'm fine" and the next you've somehow agreed to make 30 copies of a presentation "bound and collated". Oooh, or better yet, when they answer an innocuous email that you sent them, and then cc your boss with the line "and you'll do this...right?" expertly placed. Grrrrrrrrr.

Its only Saturday and I'm already dreading Monday. I don't know why, but when I'm tired I can't possibly think of doing anything, even if its day, weeks, months away. What does that make me? Lazy?

Memo to people who travel on buses and planes: Yes, I am aware that the seats recline. But seriously, do you have to push them all the way back so that you're basically sitting in my lap and I can barely move without kicking you in the head (which, I don't feel that bad about cause really? you're a dick) and then you're up against my knees, which I can't help but then you feel the need to keep pushing your seat into them because you're annoyed they're there BUT I HAVE NOWHERE ELSE TO GO BECAUSE YOU'RE SO FAR BACK! Nice way to start a day or better yet, the 2 hour plane ride from hell before I have to disembark and go to a 5 hour meeting where people will ask me to do everything from take notes to take out the trash to adjust the thermostat and make copies. So, stop being a self-entitled jerk and put the seat up. Cause one of these days, coffee might actually make its way onto that nicely pressed suit you have on due to turbulence.

Do you think it's normal to receive emails from people at 7 p.m. on a Friday night to do work? With deadlines at like Monday at ten? Cause, if you're that person then you're working under the assumption that I will be checking my email on the weekend or you basically forgot to tell me sooner and are just cya'ing to say you got it to me before the week is out. Either way--you suck.

Idiots.

I have recently been told that I need to learn to "delegate more". Here is why I hate delegating:

Me: Hi, did you do that thing I asked you in a very polite and slightly apologetic tone and gave you about three or four days to complete?
Her: No, but I did that other thing you asked me for a while back.
Me: Yes, and I appreciate that, but that was about two weeks ago. I kind of needed what I asked done for this week. It's a really important meeting. I have 40 people coming in from out of town.
Her: Well, then you know what they say, If you want something done right, you should do it yourself! I'm very busy choosing items from my Avon catalogue. And besides, I totally did that other thing, so I don't know why you're upset. I can't do everything you know.
Me: Why? Why? WhYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

Sunday night is the worst. After drinking far too much on Saturday night, you spend the majority of Sunday realizing: you're not nearly as young as you used to be and can't bounce back and start drinking again for at least two weeks, you turn into your 18 year old self when you drink hard liquor (read: crying and dramatic=not cool), you've wasted an entire day being too lazy to change the channel so you've wound up basically watching Golf and Nascar and yet content to do nothing at all. But after spending all day doing nothing and reveling in being lazy and happy it dawns on you how much it sucks that you have to get up and go to work tomorrow and have to be an ADULT. Who decided on the five-day work week? The 8 hour day that starts at 9? When was all this decided? And who then thought it would be a good idea to start screwing with that and making it 8:30-5:30 to make up for the lunch hour? Ugh, and then you have the people that are up at like 4:30 in the morning and are chipper without coffee and stroll over to your desk and are like: "This weekend I resided my house, put in new floors, ran a mini marathon and cooked for the homeless. And this morning, I got up, worked out for like an hour and a half, reorganized my files, set up three meetings, finished a presentation and ate some really delicious oatmeal. Why do you look so tired?" And I can't even function prior to coffee and this person is right in my face and I am now contemplating how I can accidently on purpose spill said coffee on them so that they just stop being so damn perky and energetic and productive. I really hate Sunday nights.